Monday, May 23, 2011

Snipets

Things I've heard recently...

Crazy Steve upgraded my lawn mower.

Are you me?

We have just three minutes to make $800.

That was really painful. And kinda cool.




Things I've thought recently...

I might need to get something warmer than a five year old fleece pullover.

I don't understand why everyone doesn't get my point of view. It makes complete sense.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Science Night at school ROCKED


OUCH!

When Jarrod was conceived I got a huge bandaid on my poor beaten heart. It's since been bloodied, crusty, worn bare, tender. When Jarrod called me a year ago and told me "I'm not coming back" the bandaid was ripped off and here I remain, raw, so confused, hurt and yet knowing.

I'm missing out on his current girlfriend, how his emotions are, what he's like, what she's like, what they're like. I'm missing out on his school work, studying for his driver's license which he probably won't tell me about until after it happens when he knows I want to very badly be there. He won a gold medal and I wasn't there...yep I'm having a pity party.

I try to regain some Buddhist composure. I become compassionate, unassuming, happy to simply be his mother (we are all and have been each others' mothers). It doesn't last.

It hurts. OUCH!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Good morning, Sunshine!

Yea, been a while. Had to get my head to my thoughts to my fingers and it took longer than I thought. Plus I have pics to share! Can't digiscrap (BOOHOO!) so haven't been inpsired to post but I love the backyard and wanted to post these from tonight.


 

 

 




Friday, April 9, 2010

Sensitivities

How do you slough off people? I can slough off skin which is dead and useless. I can stand off projects not to my liking. But people can get to me, make me itchy and uncomfortable, like I'm in the wrong or I've done something to them.

This morning I had a chance to work this. There was a person who seemed to want to place blame on me, then want to rant a bit. I was waiting for this person to take a breath so I could respond and in the moment I realized there was nothing I could say to help this person. I was able to end our encounter with "Have a nice day!"

Felt great. Felt clean, smooth. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nothing but typing

Been a LONG time now! No digi-scrapping as my computer pooped out. I type from work or from the library. But once I get rolling again be prepared for pages upon pages! You know you love it.

I am one my own again...living alone. Mark has his place, I have mine. The kids go back and forth and they have handled the whole situation like "Ok, this is fine with us!" I appreciate Mark and his ability to be able to see beyond his own hurt and rise above to help raise our kids. While he was gone more than home during the first half of our marriage, now that we're apart he has stepped up to the plate and thanks to a great new job he is able to be with the kids, take care of them, realize how HARD it can be (neeners! Told you so! LOL) and really be a true friend and co-parent with me. My oldest, he has decided to live with his father. I miss him more than I can express but support him in working things out as he needs to. He's a wonderful son!!!

I'm a lucky girl!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Been a while...


Girly girl taught herself to ride. Typical. We have the bike for about a year, she wants the training wheels back on. She is afraid of falling. She can just ride Jesse's (which does have training wheels). A little air in the tires, a helmet that fits, a kiss and she's off. She is loving the freedom that comes from the wind on your face. Fast wheels, pedal faster. Try new things like standing up off of the seat or wiggling the handlebars. Go up little hills, go around tight corners, come to a screeching halt. It's all or nothing and today she's all.
What have I taught myself recently? How can I learn from this little girl? I take her apart and put her back together but she's always the same. Different. There is something I'd like to take away from her. A lesson, a habit, something that makes it all seem effortless. Just along for the ride, I'm sure to pick up something. Still can't think of anything I've taught myself recently. Did I learn from someone else instead? I don't always need to be just me, do I?
Mahalo for riding!